Replacing deep fear with passionate desire

Posted by on Sep 13, 2013 | 0 comments

Fear is a powerful motivator. But what if we replaced it with our greatest desire?

A magic trick? Perhaps it is. So let’s do some magic…

Consciously we know when we’re afraid. Our hearts race. Our minds lock on a target. We see the “thing” that lives at the end of a dark hallway. The troll that claws at the metal under our bed. A person sneaks up behind us and “wham!”. Fists clench. Breath shortens. Eyes bug-out and widen. And we know we’re scared.

But fear also lives within us… behind the scenes. In this form it is not that we are afraid of something consciously, such as getting burnt by a hot stove, but instead we just find we don’t go near stoves again. Its unconscious. It drives us away from things that may have harmed us at one point, have some chance of generally being harmful…. but in actuality may never be. It is our own inner magic trick. “I swear I want to get into a new relationship. Huh….. I just guess its everyone else that’s crazy.”

This is of course what stops forward progression. Its debilitating. Its like the wizard in Oz, behind the curtain, pulling strings and pressing buttons and pushing levers. He’s very real, but it all seems like magic.

Every fear has some kernel of “good” for us. Something that would help us move forward. We may have a fear of heights, or of audiences, or of winged monkeys…..but they all have something to teach us.

When you are not afraid, not in a situation that is freaky, imagine the freaky situation and ask yourself. Simply sit down and begin to inquire..  “so…in the situation where I am normally stuck…. what am I afraid of happening?”. And you will have your first level answer. Follow it. “So if that happens… what am I afraid of happening?” And another answer. And then again….. “So, if that happens….”… and more and more. Following this sequence to the end. Till there are no more answers.

Funny though… when you reach the end you won’t find a fear lurking there…. but a desire. Something that you cherish. One (common) conclusion is simply your life. You reach the end and find that you cherish your life. So that is the place to now start.

Instead of a fear of something…. it is actually a caring for something. The difference in those words is the trick. If you care for something you treat it with regard, with respect, with desire for whatever it needs in the world to be its best. As you bring your creative mind to this thing you’ll find that you have no time for fear, but instead open up the possibility for what could be. Since you are starting from the simplest place possible, your cherishing of your life, there is nothing but more and more to come up with. Fear points us to what we care about. And lets just leave it at that. Once we know what it is that we care about we can make plans from that place and project those plans outward. You could take a child and lock it in its room for a lifetime…. out of fear. Or you can desire for it, and open it up to its own desires…. and teach it to go get them in a healthy and strong way. Whatever was “dangerous” before will practically go away, because… there isn’t time for it. It has been replaced by passion and fruition.

Go get it!

Join me for a deeper discussion on this topic on September 17th at 7Pm pacific time.

This is our first topic…. of so many to come. We’re going to have a good time.

So sign in, sign on, and learn more about your own evolution. Conscious Jam Radio.


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Does evil live?

Posted by on Apr 28, 2013 | 0 comments

What is evil?

Our definition here is not iron clad. So many of them have come and gone through the ages. My own may differ from yours…. but I think this one may get close for most. And still, at the edges of the bell curve there is wiggle room and exactness may blurr.

Simply put, “evil” is the enacting of one’s values at another person’s expense. It is not only saying that something is highly important to “me”… but it is so important that I am willing to take from “you” to get it, taking away from your freedoms and rights as a human being.

We all have  needs, wants, and desires that we are willing to fight for. Things and ideals that we demand to have in and from our lives. Things that we long for and strive for. And that is the way it should be, especially within a capitalist society such as the U.S. where competition is a strong value of the system itself. There are special places within this society for direct competition, where zero-sum game mentality is the norm and the rule (such as sporting events). But when a person takes or infringes on another person’s rights to have what they need/want/desire beyond these specific arenas it reaches beyond striving. Together, the last four of the ten commandments speak as a testament to this. Whether it breaks the legal rules or not, in general if it is an act of taking for personal gain specifically at another’s detriment it is ultimately nefarious.

Certain personalities find it easier to spin into this trap. Their narcissistic or psychopathic vision of reality drives them to not only fight into each thing they want, but justify damages along the way. Other personalities are not so extreme and extol minor versions of this. They are not so easily swayed to such radical ideals, yet smaller ideals just like this creep in anyways. In all versions, the one doing the behavior somehow justifies their behavior, and those of us who are watching experience a visceral reaction when we see it. We can almost smell it…. and when we do, it stinks.

When “evil” is extolled consciously it is bad enough. But when it is unconscious it is even worse. In this type of scenario at one level, at the conscious level, it seems that the person is speaking from truth, honesty, goodness. They are coming from a higher, wiser place. But at a deeper level, a level even they cannot even see, they are pressing forward from some panicked fear that hides within them and, at times, a seething anger that is looking to protect it…. One that is looking to manifest outside in the world at large. They are often not even aware of their behavior. You may recognize these people through their damage and consequent excuses and, rare but possible, apologies. Constant patterns of behavior that do not change, regardless of their words that often endlessly seek to diffuse or sidestep what was done. It is with these people that you pay attention to actions, not words, to determine where they are coming from and how to procede with them. They appear to not know what they are doing. You must be the one that is more vigilant.

When that person steps this up to a higher level, looking to impart their ideals upon the world at large, to indoctrinate others into their “philosophy” we have an even greater reaction to it. We may want to take up arms against their actions (figuratively or sometimes literally)… but that only hurts us as well. The pains they cause others have us believing that the only way to “stop them” is to meet force with force. But there is a better way. There is always a better way, a more evolved way to handle situations. One that has us take into account both the other person’s conscious desires to do good, to be a “good person” (most people, even in extreme cases, wat to see themselves as “good”), and their drive to get what they want at other people’s expense. The purpose is to evolve. It is always to evolve. So helping them to evolve is where our actions and our path lies. Justice has its place… but only when held in evolved ways of thinking. Love and caring has its place… but only when held in the same regard.

Always look for this. The way forward that honors all parties, all of theirs and yours. This will lead you into a place where you will not be in hate, but in love, honoring yourself, while finding room for justice. Closing doors to the continuation of negative behavior while opening the door to greater understanding and caring. Both are incredibly important and the higher you go up the ladder of understanding the more skillful you will need to be to maintain both of them in grace. In many ways evil is just a misunderstanding of the self… and if and when the person finally sees it, finally knows it and understands that this has been a functioning of theirs, they are forever moved and changed. Humbled by their own humanity. This is what we hope for and move towards.

There are deeper ways to address this. Within yourself, if you may feel or have experienced an imbalance, or when dealing with others, to curtail the unwanted behaviors and be a greater force in their own growth. Whether in an individual environment, or between couple/partners/associates…. TakeGiantSteps has more to share and teach here. Contact me at

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How the self is allowed to evolve

Posted by on Apr 1, 2013 | 0 comments

A little more serious topic this week. We, at Take Giant Steps (and SpiralKinetics) like to talk about the self and its growth. The self as it becomes more. The self in “evolution.” When many of us think we understand what evolution means….. we create visions and versions of it. Conceptions in our minds and hearts that encapsulate what it means to be evolved. Sometimes this is profound, and sometimes it is problematic.

To some, being evolved is a deep dive into a high level of being special. Looking around at the most common ways that people are being and behaving then turning them aside for a harder but more advanced route. This way of looking at the evolution of the human self is exclusive. Differentiating between the evolving/evolved and the unconcerned. This parses people into the evolutionary “haves” and “have-nots”, which does not promote our growth, and instead curtails it. 

This is one of many of what I call “spiral traps”.

There are also moments when we experience an opening. What we call a “peak experience” that some workshop (or drug) bursts us at the seams maybe for the first time in our lives and has all our insides pour out and rain down on ourselves… leaving us feeling freer and grateful. We then often turn in the direction of the creators of this experience and decide that we will pursue the system/substance/person/community that facilitated this sense of liberation, often for the first time in our lives, in the hope and desire to find more of the same. This spirals us into another spiral trap.

Evolving is a commitment to ongoing growth, not exclusive of others or grasping onto the thing that caused it, but inclusive of all experience. Not just having patience for people and where they are in life but instead even “knowing” their experience as a part of your own… as a part of us all. Distinguishing between your personal path and anyone else’s is ultimately unimportant to the flow of evolution.

Evolving is also not holding fast to whatever opened you to your evolutionary self. It initially seems as exciting as a life-preserver to a drowning man… but quickly transforms into an anchor and holds us fast causing less evolutionary growth (even if it seems like growth and we can’t distinguish the difference at the time).

The one main criteria I always recommend is openness. Openness to becoming something more. To allowing something more to penetrate you. To keeping ongoing change in motion without looking to hold onto and force “change” itself. Its to continually transform your experience courageously, with humility, while reinforcing your  core. Its almost contradictory. To change and yet be build up and reinforced at the core. To be powerful and porous at the same time. Its almost as if we were molten metal and we were being casted into a sculpture…. there are moments when the metal is melted…and then the following moments when the metal is hardened. And it happens again and again. Melted and hardened, and melted and hardened …strengthening to become more and more and more.

Spiral traps are everywhere. They seem like growth, but then slowly, before we know it…. things stagnate and we are no longer within our growth.

Be in evolution. It is a very fine path. One that is highly prone to distractions. But being committed to it and opening to it is the priority and truest method to make sure you are on its ongoing ride.

And if you wonder aloud to yourself how you know when you have spiraled-in to a trap in your life or if you are on the true path and spiraling up… Whether you are on the fine line of your growth or off on some shiny tangent…. contact me. If the question is in your mind perhaps it’s really time to pursue it far more… along with another set of conscious eyes.

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Get it! (understanding spirituality)

Posted by on Jun 18, 2009 | 0 comments

I’ve watched many many people go through their machinations with spirituality. They are looking to explore it, but the explosion of information that is now available is so incredibly overwhelming that it leaves most with a lack of direction and focus.

The world today has embraced the phrase “I’m spiritual, but not religious.” A total knee-jerk reaction towards the all-encompassing “accept-our-way-of-life-beyond-all-others” world religions that have often flexed their authoritative arm, bringing with it an incredible lack of freeflow in spiritual thought, as any exploration is confined to the dogmatic box of the religion. This attracts those that appreciate such things, but frightens those who shy away.

So many are left with a vague idea of what is spiritual, but not any practical appreciation or application. Many are left with a simple issue, whether they actually know to address it or not: “What is the difference between fantasy and spirituality?” ” What really is spiritual?”

There are many definitions of spirituality we can look at and research, though my favorite is that spirituality is simply “our experiential walk through life.”

Our “experiential walk.” This cleans up alot of extraneous parts of our experience. It leaves out the physical, the psychological, the material, and the social. And yet it somehow includes them. Our experiential walk is made up of 3 portions: our sense of self, where our attention is at the moment, and what acts on us to make up the details and changes in our experience. So while we can disregard the physical as being “our experience”, if our attention is in the physical world at that moment, then our spiritual experience is there as well. Each moment of our experience makes up our walk as a whole. This is the starting point for spirituality.

How that experience is guided is the next angle to approach. That guidance may come from other individuals, from a book or DVD, or from the self. There are benefits to each, and drawbacks. The danger is that if the information that is at the root of the spiritual practice is not grounded in some real aspect of reality, it quickly flies off into fantasy. It easily leaves the realm of being useful and life enhancing, and instead splits the person further from reality, taking them into the perception of higher levels of spirit, yet disconnecting them from their healthly walk.

A spiritual path that is not grounded in reality is fantasy. The more reality that one stands and immerses themselves in, the more one can explore the true possibilities of spirituality, the possibilities where they can expand themselves and become more.

If your practice at its very root is based on assumptions and fantasies, merging with reality will be very difficult. Reality abides by sets of rules and laws, and if a person is not grounded in those rules suffering occurs. As step #2 on the Take Giant Steps Steps Ladder™ states “Reality wins… every time.”

Once we determine reality the best we can we are able to merge with it and be in oneness with it. From that place we can begin to explore the possibilities that spirituality has to offer, bringing our experience of reality to higher levels, with less suffering and without the possibility of things falling apart. Anything created that reduces suffering is useful. The greater the “less suffering” created the more viable the practice. Choose your directions, your teachers, and your practice wisely with this is mind.

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Inner self awareness

Posted by on May 16, 2008 | 1 comment

This is the preliminary view of inner self awareness. Deeper thoughts will be included in following articles. But it is important that we begin someplace to have an overview. So this is it…. welcome to it.

Many thoughts are around us now in the new holistic universe. We are seeing an east meets west merging that is quite sexual in nature. The Yang West has actually been penetrated by the Yin East. What this alliance is forming no one knows. It is in it infancy. but growing day by day. Many fields are blossoming out of it like little children. And like little children direction and efficiency is not their priority, but exploring their world is, and seeing what its capable of in so many ways.

What East really is adding to the West is the deepness of self awareness that Eastern philosophy provides. Eastern awareness started on the mountain top. In silent contemplation of who one is, what one is, where one is externally and internally, how one functions, with some why.

Eastern though really is from that place of aloneness. That waiting to experience what is for the inner self without putting overlays on it. What I mean by an overlay is that you can have some idea of how reality is, how it functions, first, then start your contemplation. What you’ll get is the idea/overlay that you originally thought enhanced and slightly morphed through self awareness into a concept that explores its reality, and at the same time fortifies the initial thought. Where that initial thought comes from and if it has any foundation in reality or not is then not a question at that point. But it should be! Its a question that cannot be answered once the enhancement has begun. It is “too late”.

So real contemplation is from the deep state of unknowing into the known. That’s what the initial concept is. But don’t think and don’t worry that all eastern thought has it. Plenty of Buddhist and Eastern thought have plenty of overlays too. Its just that the original concept came to earth without it. Now that’s clean meditation. And gladly many a keen meditator often finds their way back to that pure point as well.

Patience is something else that Eastern thought comes with. Extreme and sometimes supreme patience. Sitting for hugely long extended periods of time. Standing sometimes. Endurance events. Allowing the body and being to just be while they monitor the self and relax. Western thought has little time for patience such as this. Its too busy creating.. to notice what is happening.

Silent contemplation though is not always good. It is not always useful. It is an avenue to one area of the being. But since it is so incredibly rare in our Western experience it is a necessary way to get in touch with all the parts of ourselves that exist there. There are parts of ourselves that exist in noisy reality, and parts that exist in silence. Both are huge. Both are accessible through their individual channels. So one must use the appropriate channel, the appropriate access to gain entry it. Then changes can be made. Voices can be heard.

Combine the two and you get an awesome life.


See ya next week!


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