Stalkers. They’re everywhere. After listening to so many women tell me that some guy they know won’t leave them alone I get that there’s a problem. My only question is… “Why do they keep coming to me?!!”
I’ve worked in and run men’s and women’s groups… so yeah, I may have some thoughts. But, so… I know about this? Really?
If I help out the women now…. isn’t that like batting for the other team?
But the more I thought about this the more I considered it. In this situation we think its the women that are in trouble and the men are being aggressive and in control, and so only one party is getting hurt. But what is really going on? And who is winning?
She’s not winning. She doesn’t want anything to do with this relationship…. (anymore at least…. especially if she had been seeing him at some point). And he’s definitely not winning. She’s getting more and more turned off. So this is just not working for anybody.
There should be a way to get everyone thinking clearly here and get on the same page. She wants distance and …well… peace. He wants….. her of course. But even more important, he doesn’t want to look like a fool. So yes! I can help both teams here.
If you want to learn how to play this game go here:
http://takegiantsteps.simplelander.com/
…and sign in for the talk. Its starts on Tuesday August 27th 2013 at 7pm. All free. All me (with a little help from a friend).
But here’s a piece of it:
If you are a woman… get very clear on what you want. Before it all went “awry” what type of relationship… in detail… did you or do you want with this person. So many women I have dealt with just have a slight feeling around the relationship (or One-Big-Angry feeling)…. but have not put down – in detail – the type of relationship they want/had wanted with this person. Without definition there is wiggle room in many areas. Wiggle room that the guy can feel and is actually helping to draw him in closer that she would like.
Be very exact with your definition of the relationship, especially if it is getting “strange.” He will begin to feel your exactness and it will help provide direction. The more detailed the better.
Come to the talk! There’s more. It’ll be fun and enlightening.
UPDATE: The talk was a success. Great questions and Austin Pick…. my interviewer was a delight and right on point.
The 4 stages of Letting a Man down easy were discussed and now the women on the call are ready to handle the situations so that everyone wins. Remember …. when you objectify him (“he’s an ass or idiot”) he objectifies you. And then everyone is playing the game. Don’t fall into this trap.
(Since this talk has already happened…. email me now if you want a gift copy of the recorded audio)
